It's Gonna Be Alright
by Cammiel
Summary: Two words can change your entire life and you'll be forced to resort to back-up plans, give up dreams and actually see. See who actually cares and what really matters.
1. Chapter 1: Silence

Hey!

New fic, this will be a multi chapter one (yeah, surprise!).

I have already written four chapters for this, and I have the whole storyline planned. So eventually this will have an end, which is a new thing for me, I'm the master of the WIP stuff.

All medical stuff will be accurate, I had the bad luck of having cancer so I understand the treatments, I did not have the type of cancer described here (my father did). However I'll try to be as truth to reality as I can be and that would be painful for some, or cathartic for others (like me).

I hope you like this, and if you do... Let me know. This issue is important for me, so any feedback will be greatly appreciated.

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**It's Gonna Be Alright... Someday**

Chapter 1: Silence.**  
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Tracheal cancer... Two words. Asphyxiating two words.

Ironically it isn't the person giving the news the one that feels like they can't breath. The silence in the room is terrible, like some kind of shadow that covers everything making the people in the room shiver. The same place that is always full of loud teenagers singing and screaming is now silent, and not because the guys don't want to say something, but because somehow they feel they can't.

The people in the room can't move, they just see her standing there with her expression set in stone. Suddenly a sob interrupts the silence, it's Tina. Of course it would be her. Schuester can't say a word, it's like he has been punched and even his expression is pained. Finn is just holding his head, looking at the floor, like trying to deny that this is actually happening. Artie and Mike just look at her, with deep sadness; while Puck and Sam look like they are about to jump and say something, but simply can't. Kurt and Brittany have tears down their cheeks, both trying to not make a sound. Blaine is holding Kurt's hand and looks at her with a sad smile. Rory and Sugar just look at her, almost expecting that she starts saying that it's a joke. Quinn looks calm, suddenly she takes Mercedes hand and almost in unison they moved their hands and it was pretty obvious that they were praying.

Rachel just stood there, in the middle of the room, trying to keep a straight face while explaining that there was no way to know beforehand, that the two tumors were in her trachea and that she had to start treatment immediately. She couldn't sing anymore, the location of both tumors made it difficult, since she had issues controlling her breath and the effort might hurt her. She was already sorting backup plans in case she couldn't sing anymore after the treatments. Maybe drama, maybe musical composition, maybe even something related to science or math, since she was good at it.

Santana just sat there, trying to understand how a visit to the doctor would change someone's life so radically. She could feel how wet her cheeks were and moved her hand taking her sleeve and drying her tears a little forcefully, she wouldn't let Rachel see her tears. What Rachel needed now was support and strength, not a remorseful, crying cheerleader. She knew people got sick everyday, her dad was a doctor and a real good one, but death and sickness were natural, a part of life... A part of life that happened to old people, not to 17 years old tiny girls full of dreams. And tracheal cancer? She knew how that worked. People had trouble breathing, they lose their voices, they even had trouble swallowing their own saliva. She could clearly recall being seven years old trying to help her grandfather drink a little bit of water and seeing how it pained him.

Once Rachel had finished explaining, everything seemed the same than when she said those two words like 20 minutes ago. Nobody knew what to do. Surprisingly, Santana saw how Brad stood up and suddenly hugged Rachel. It was as if that simple gesture brought the whole room back to life. She could see how Rachel was shaking and the rest of the club moved to hug her, to talk to her, to offer support, and rides, and company for treatments, doctor visits or simply staying at home.

But Santana... Santana just sat there, trying to understand.

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**I hope you let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2: The Beginning of the End

Hi there!

It's been a while, and basically despite the fact that I had four chapters already written I lost them, because my computer crushed D:

Anyway, it was kind of hard re-write this chapter, because it was difficult to get the grasp the idea all over again.

So U just hope you like it :)

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**Chapter 2: The beginning of the end**

Sitting in the middle of my living room is not something uncommon, but Finn hugging me and willingly accepting to watch a musical without any complaint is. It's not that I do not appreciate his efforts, or that I reject how attentive he is, or how he wants to help. It's just that the 'Why now? Why not before?' bothers me. So I just stay there, trying not to move, because even when I try to be a little bit more comfortable he asks if I'm ok, which might have been nice or romantic for me a month ago, but now is almost as asphyxiating as the illness.

It's as if suddenly everybody thinks I'm made of crystal, now everybody is suddenly aware that I have feelings, that my ego gets bruised and that, apparently, I am not as strong as it seemed. It's sad they didn't notice before when one single word or a especially cruel remark would make me feel unworthy of everything. Surprisingly the only one that seems to notice my discomfort with the new 'treatment' is Santana. She doesn't look at me with pity, nor tries to soften her words when there's something she dislikes or bothers her, and I greatly appreciate it.

And when Finn just hugs me closer to him I remember, and I tense up . He notices, but doesn't say anything, and the memory haunts me. He was just having a talk with Puck near the lockers, when the words 'break up with Rachel' astound me and I just stay there, without saying a word, hiding so they don't see me. Puck talks him into telling me that they have plans to leave for Cali and start a business there, and Finn confessing that he loves me, but he's not in love with me anymore breaks my heart, but I can understand him. I feel the same, but the pressure, and how good we seem to get along, and how both of us compromise for each other, and how some people seemed to like this 'popular jock dating unpopular but talented gleek' because it is some sort of 'high school fairytale', it all worked for me. But when I compare what we have with what my fathers have, I can't help but feel disappointed. We have settled for each other, and that's not how it should be.

"I hate this part," he suddenly interrupts my line of thought.

"Uh?" It's all I can manage to ask.

"All this 'Oh God she's going to die' but then she just says she had a vision and looks fine all the sudden," I just shrug and say my point of view,

"It's okay by me, Rent is a sad conflicting musical, so I like that it has a relatively happy end, full of hope for them," I use that tone that used to bother everyone so much, trying to get some reaction.

"Yeah, you are right." He says and keeps watching. I almost rolled my eyes at him. It's all predictable, all annoyingly cute. I dislike it, I dislike everything. I'm not in my death bed, not yet anyway. I have plans, I have dreams and hopes, and despite that I've always wanted people to pay attention and care for me, this was definitely not how I expected, nor what I want.

"I'm tired," I say and I know what is going to happen.

"Sure, sure… I'm going to go to Puck's now, I have some stuff to do and… Do you need me to go with you upstairs? I can make sure you are in bed before I leave." And that's it.

"Finn, I'm sick, I haven't even started any treatment, so don't treat me like I'm dying, or like I'm a three year old who need to put up to bed for a nap before their parents attend their responsibilities." I can see that I've hurt him, and I hope he understands that this is incredibly uncomfortable to me.

"Ok… I'm going to leave now, and I hope you are better later, when I call you before sleep, ok?" this time I roll my eyes and don't do anything to hide it. And I feel a weird satisfaction at seeing his baffled expression.

"Bye, Finn." No goodbye kisses, not even a wave, I just go to my room and turn my iPod on. I walk near my window and see his car leaving. And I know this is the beginning of the end, and it's not as painful as I thought it would be.

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**I hope you let me know what you think :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Hard to breathe

Hi there!

New chapter, and probably the fouth will be published in a week or so :D

We get to see more of how people have reacted to Rachel's illness, and especially how she sees it and how she's affected by everything.

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**Chapter 3 - Hard to breath**

"¡Ay no! ¡No de Nuevo!" Santana groaned as quietly as she could, feeling that inevitable desire to literally palm her face and flip the rest of the glee club off.

Now, in front of her were her classmates - who by the way didn't even ask her if she wanted to help - singing an 'encouraging' song to Berry. So she just sat there, seeing their faces, which by the way made her cringe, and seeing how the midget was about to leave the room trying to get away from all these assholes. She couldn't blame her, she wished she had a gigantic palm to hit them all for being insensitive while trying to be sensitive. Screw them.

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"Of course," Rachel says, while faking a smile and gritting her teeth, of course this had been a brilliant idea of Mr. Schuester… And Finn. She looks to her left and see Santana rolling her eyes and she stops faking a smile, just to do it amused. Apparently Santana got it, which was good, and surprisingly unexpected. Basically because of all people she thought would somehow understand her, Santana Lopez was not on the list. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, she was on the list, but her name was second to last before Sue Sylvester's.

Santana apologized and informed everyone that she had 'hot shit to do' and and had to leave early, so she just stood up and waved everyone goodbye. It was clear that she was irritated. Rachel couldn't help smirking sardonically and Santana smiled back, and it seemed sincere not full of pity, which felt good.

Rachel wishes she could do exactly the same, just wave everyone goodbye and walk as fast and as far as possible, but just like things are going half of the club would 'volunteer' to take her home, which is ridiculous, because she has two tumors in her trachea, not one in the brain that prevents her from walking alone or drive.

Mister Schuester looks at her with pity, like somehow her life is over, but she refuses to acknowledge it. And she wants to scream. Yeah, maybe she can't sing anymore, maybe there won't be a big Broadway opening night in her life, nor Tony nominations, no stardom. But she is incredibly intelligent, she has amazing grades and she is an organized person, and if everything works out well she will go to college, and with luck she'll be something more than a frustrated teacher with delusions of grandeur wondering 'what ifs…' while trying to teach kids with way more potential than her own.

And it's mean of her, it's mean that she doesn't want to mask her disdain, how much she doesn't want their pity, but everyone has their limits. And Mr. Schue, almost sensing her change in demeanor, finishes the meeting. It's like something inside of her jumps, making her pick her bag fast and try to run away. Yep, she's escaping the choir room… That's new.

As soon as she's about to leave, she's intercepted by a smiling Finn and a fidgeting Quinn. Rachel looks at them expectant and almost at the same time both offer to drive her home. 'Saved by the bell' is all she thinks as soon as her phone rings. It's a text from her dad asking to buy some groceries before going back home. She informs Finn and Quinn that she drove to school and she has her car in the parking lot, so she can't go with either of them. Finn looks at her frowning.

"I thought your daddy would bring you today, he told me he would." He says, skeptical, as if he was suspecting that she was lying. And Rachel literally wants to punch him… Punch him and punch her daddy. So that's why he didn't want her to come by herself in the morning, because he told Finn he would take her to school. How frustrating!

"No, I'm perfectly capable to drive, and think and be by myself, Finn. Thank you" And she turns around leaving Finn and Quinn there, she hears a sudden slap, which she suspects is Quinn hitting Finn in the back of his head, but to be honest she couldn't care less. If it was that, he deserved it.

So she just walks directly to her car, trying to avoid all contact with Mercedes and Kurt which are a couple of parking spaces away. She waves, because she is not a rude person, but she keeps walking fast before they decide to invite her to a 'musical movie night' despite of how much Mercedes hates musicals, or to a 'shopping trip to the mall', despite of how much Kurt hates going to the shops and stores she likes. So she just gets into her car and breathes profoundly. She can feel the tears stinging her eyes… It's not the glee club, not their attitude, but the fact that it's already happening… She's having trouble breathing, so she can't walk fast. She's having trouble breathing, so she can't sing difficult songs. She's having trouble breathing, so she can't have her normal routines. She's having trouble breathing, so she just can't be her usual self. She's not going to cry, she's not going to be a freaking cliché sitting in her car crying her heart out. So she tries to make her breathing exercises, but then she snaps. In the entrance of the building is Finn and he's clearly looking for her car. So she just put the key in the ignition, pretends not so see him and leaves.

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**So as you see this was more a 'transition' chapter. I truly think I needed to establish clearly some dynamics and see how Rachel and Santana saw the situation. Also, chapter four is already finished and I'm writing chapter five, so as a spoiler I have to say that in the next chapter we finally will see Rachel and Santana truly interact, even if the result is not what you expected.**

**I hope you are liking this and can take the time to leave a review, especially if you think I can improve or there's something you'd like to read :D**

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**I hope you let me know what you think :)**


	4. Chapter 4: The mistake

New chapter yay!

I hope you like this one since Santana and Rachel **finally** interact! :)

Also, sorry for not answering the last reviews, I'll answer them as soon as I finish this :D

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**Chapter 4: The mistake**

"It's 5.26" Santana says in a monotone tone. She looks at the client and realizes that it's just a kid, probably seven years old and for the first time since her shift started, she smiled to a client, the girl smiled back. She looks at the time in her cash register … Fifteen minutes to go. It's incredible how fast time goes by when people do stuff automatically, almost like a robot.

It's a small store, only three cash registers and only one working at the moment. The pay is fair, and the recommendation letter will be nice too, a nice complement to her college applications. Mr. Vega is nice and a very understanding person, the kind of person that gives her flexible hours and makes sure she doesn't have to work on Saturday mornings while she's hangover, still he laughs at her when she arrives Saturday afternoons joking about the night that she probably had, sometimes she laughs. He makes her life sound way more interesting that it is, she doesn't go to party or to get drunk every Friday night. He'd be surprised to know how many of those Friday nights she actually spends studying or watching DVDs of old bad movies that her mom insist to buy because they were on sale. Anyway, according to her he rocks. It's cool that the feelings are mutual, because he has a great time listening to all the Sue Sylvester horror stories, Mr. Schuester great ideas, Glee club numbers and dramas, and all Brittany's newest adventures.

She keeps working, helping a dude and she can see Mr. Vega in the background gesturing that he's about to close. The dude leaves with a seductive smile, Santana huffs and rolls her eyes. She still has to wait a couple of minutes, because Mr. Vega lets her know that there's one more client. So she just takes her phone and answers a text message from her mom letting her know that she and her dad would arrive late, because she went to pick him and he took her to Columbus to have dinner, she reminds her that there's food in the oven and Santana smiles.

"Hi," the voice astounds her and there, in front of her, is Rachel Berry with a small, tight smile taking different products from her cart and leaving them in front of the cash register.

"Hey," Santana answers roughly. She is not ashamed to work, actually she likes to feel useful, do something besides splits and jump around cheering a mediocre football team. But she always dislikes when someone she knows comes to the store, it's like somehow they have the upper hand, because after all she's forced to help them. And it's not even that she dislikes Berry, not anymore at least, but it always makes her incredibly uncomfortable, which is why Quinn insists on coming at least twice a week to bother her. She takes some artichokes and other vegetables and calculates the total. Rachel keeps staring intently at her, which makes her uneasy. "It's 32.30" she says.

"Okay," Rachel pays, but she doesn't move. Santana gives her change, smirks and with an oddly and obviously fake sweet voice she says.

"Is there something else that I can do for you? Would you like me to take the bags, so the princess doesn't have to make any effort?" Rachel looks at her somehow hurt, takes her bags and leaves without saying a word.

And it isn't after she's left the store that Santana realizes her mistake.

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Thanks a lot for taking the time to read, and thanks in advance if you leave a review :D


	5. Chapter 5: Mamá knows best

New chapter yay!

Santana realizes her mistake and Maribel López comes to the rescue! :)

Also, sorry for not answering the last reviews, I'll answer them as soon as I finish this :D (Again! xD)

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**Chapter 5: Mamá knows best**

Santana is sitting in the couch while playing with the lettuce in her bowl and with the movie playing in the background when her parents arrive. They enter the house laughing about something that apparently happened during dinner, and they both look surprised at seeing her there.

"Hola, Santi… ¿Qué haces acá? I thought you'd be at Brittany's," her dad said in a profound voice, while kissing the top of her head.

"Nah, she had a date night with Artie and he was going to take her to Breadsticks." Her mom looked at her knowingly and then looked at her husband.

"Ay, Roberto… Our girl is here tonight, let's just enjoy a little bit of family time." She said sitting next to Santana, hugging her.

"Would you like something to drink?" Roberto asked while entering the kitchen.

"Red wine for me, Rob." Maribel answered, while tightening the hug on Santana.

"A beer would be nice!" Santana screamed to the kitchen laughing, which earned her a slap in the back of the head from her mother.

"Here you go," Roberto said giving a glass of red wine to his wife, he had a beer in hand and sat next to Santana. He opened the bottle and Santana was about to say something when he drunk from the bottle smiling, he took a diet coke can from his pocket and gave it to her, which made them all laugh.

They watched the romantic movie together and about fifteen minutes before the end Roberto decided to go to bed mumbling something about fake stories, women and idealized love.

Maribel and Santana were left alone, and the older woman looked at her daughter intently, Santana rolled her eyes.

"What happened?" Maribel asked immediately, "Did you have a fight with Brittany? Or did you have some problem at school? What has done that coach of yours, again?"

"Mom! Mom!" Santana shook her head, "things with Britt are O.K, she's with Artie, she made her choice and I respect that," Santana rolled her eyes after seeing her mom with a compassionate expression, "Believe me," and her mom nodded paying attention to the television once again. Santana was aware that her mother knew her better than anyone and that the older woman would pretend that everything was ok until Santana decided to tell her what was bothering her.

"This is so cheesy," her mother said watching the movie, and she smiled.

"You are the one that insists on buying crappy movies."

"Santana! Language!" her mother huffed, but Santana just stayed silent until the credits started rolling.

"It's not coach and it's not the cheerios, it's not even the job," she sighed when she saw how expectant her mom looked. "It's Berry," Maribel looked astounded for a second and then turned off the TV.

"Hiram's daughter?" She asked and Santana's eyes widened.

"Why do you know her dad?"

"Well, that happens when you've known a person during the last… 4 years, I think." Maribel said with a smirk, that at this point was a patented Lopez move.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Santana looked surprised at her.

"Well, when I first told you, your answer was something along the lines 'Sadly she exists' so that gave a clue not to bring it up anymore," Maribel told her, "Also, when I knew that you were in glee club together and you called her RuPaul and let me know that you had no intention to stay in the club I just… Let it go."

"We are still together in glee club, she's our main singer… She was" Santana explained, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Oh," suddenly Maribel's understanding made her expression change completely, "She's got cancer," she said almost whispering, remembering Hiram saying something about it, and Santana nodded.

"Tracheal cancer," she could feel her mother stiffening next to her, and both shared a few seconds of silence, probably remembering Santana's grandfather. "I've never been nice to her," Maribel's eyes hardened, "but today, trying to make a joke I totally made a mistake and I might have made fun of her situation and…"

"Santana! How could you?" her mother said angrily, "as if she isn't going through enough right now. I can't believe…"

"Mom! I didn't make fun of her illness, or of her giant nose or anything," Maribel still looked angry, "Look, the glee club has been especially… Annoying." She rolled her eyes. "We've never been particularly nice to her, some of us have resorted to mock her throughout the years, others are just jealous of the amount of solos she gets, or some have just simply used her to achieve whatever it is they want in the moment," she sighed thinking of Kurt, Quinn, Finn and Jesse. "I mean… She isn't very nice when it comes to solos or competition, but in general she's not that bad. And now suddenly everyone feels like they _have_ to be nice, they _have_ to sing encouraging songs knowing that she can't sing anymore. It's like having a gigantic sign with neon lights saying 'we didn't like you, but we like you now that we know you might die'." She huffed.

"Santana, you just have to understand that it is in moments like these when people suddenly develops a conscience and they probably feel bad about treating her badly in the past… It's okay to feel that way, they just have to learn to be more subtle about it."

"Mom, it's still no reason to be that blind. I mean, I can see her, literally, squirming in her chair whenever someone does something out of pity. I seem to understand what she is going through, because well… I just do. The only other person who is just being normal with her is Brittany. But it's because she's always been nice to her... Or almost all the time," Santana added remembering the granny clothes fad catastrophe.

"Santana, do you remember how it was when your Abuelito was ill?" Santana looked at her mom and remembered her grandfather sick in bed trying to soothe his pain, and she nodded. "He tried to be strong, and he certainly wanted his routine to be as normal as it could be. And yes, sometimes we smothered him with attention, but sometimes it was needed, because there were things he couldn't do anymore. Now, we all know how your uncle José decided to swallow his pride and come to visit him when he knew he was sick, and he tried to be a better son for his last days on earth, and your abuelito was ecstatic. Don't you think your glee club wants the same?"

"Mom, she's not going to die. She's young and strong, and…"

"Santana," Maribel looked at her with a sad, serious expression, "you don't know that. You don't know if she is going to make it after all the treatments and the surgeries, and all she has to go through." And it was those words that somehow shook Santana and for the first time she let herself cry. She cried for her grandfather, she cried for the lost time and she cried for Berry. Because she couldn't help but think that it could have been her, she tried to put herself in Rachel's place and that was heartbreaking. "San," her mother sighed and hugged with unusual strength, "Honey, you also have to understand your glee club, they just think they have to make her feel good, they just are being a little bit too…"

"Stupid?" Santana said trying to dry her cheeks, and her mom smiled.

"Overwhelming was the word I had in mind," she kissed Santana's temple.

"I don't know what to do. Don't get me wrong, I care, I just… I don't want her to think that it's just because she is sick, or because I pity her." Santana looked at her hands.

"Then all you have to do, is say those same words to her, and try not to call her RuPaul," Maribel said, and Santana laughed.

"That was a great nickname," and Maribel rolled her eyes while standing up.

"Just make sure you apologize for whatever it is you said today, ok?" Santana nodded. "Good night, mi amor," Maribel said kissing the top of Santana's head.

"Buenas noches, mamá." Santana answered looking at the turned off TV screen and she tried to find some solution to her dilemma.

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Thanks a lot for taking the time to read, and thanks in advance if you decide to leave a review :D


	6. Chapter 6: Slushies and Tea

Hi there!

New chapter, and I have to tell this is the last one I had already written, so I have no idea when I'll publish the next one, because right now I have a gigantic plot bunny that I want to explore, so I guess my vacation time will be spent writing that :)

On the bright side, this chapter is all Pezberry interaction, so I hope you like it and you let me know.

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**Chapter 6: Slushies and tea**

Santana didn't know what to do, and she certainly wasn't prepared to face Rachel Berry. Which was why she was annoyed with the world and decided that karma was a bitch when she entered the coffee shop next to the grocery store and saw that there was only one person in the row.

Santana sighed and closed her eyes, she tried to remember one of the speeches or possible conversations that she thought about the night before while trying to fall asleep, so she just kept walking and stood behind Rachel. She could see how the redhead girl behind the counter looked at the shorter brunette with dreamy eyes, and she couldn't help raising an eyebrow. Rachel was mumbling something, while rummaging in her bag.

"Here it is!" She said while taking a book and giving it to the barista. "Read it when you have time and then you let me know what you think."

Santana couldn't look at her face, but she was absolutely certain that Rachel Berry was sporting a gigantic smile.

"Thanks, Rachel. I've been looking for this book everywhere. I'll give it back to you in a couple of days."

_That's what libraries and book stores are for, little bitch. _Santana thought and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, sure. No problem. Just read it calmly and try to remember the things that caught your attention so we can discuss them the next time I come for coffee," she said while taking her wallet and paying. Santana saw how the expression of the barista changed.

"About that…" The barista started while giving Rachel her change, "Maybe we could discuss it over lunch? I mean, I could take you to Breadstix. I know that they have vegan options." Rachel left the change as tip and Santana huffed, the readhead was as subtle as an earthquake.

As if the sound startled the girls, they both realized they weren't alone and both looked at the newcomer. Santana saw how Rachel's smile faltered, and she just wanted to run away and leave town and never ever see the girl again, but she wasn't a coward, so she did what she knew best, she smirked. Which made the shorter girl turn around.

"Yeah, sure…" Rachel answered, the hesitance was clear in her voice, and Santana couldn't help smiling to the other girl. "Text me with the time whenever you can," Rachel wrote down her number in one of the napkins and the other girl smiled and gave Rachel her cup, she smiled back and was ready to leave.

"Rachel," Santana whispered, the girl looked at her and raised an eyebrow, which made the taller girl uneasy. "Can we talk?" and before Rachel would say no, because Santana was sure she would, the cheerio added "please?"

Rachel sighed, nodded and started to walk to a table, Santana was about to say something about how Rachel wasn't speaking in paragraphs, ranting about her behaviour; but she decided not to tempt luck and shut up. By the time she turned to order, she smirked once again after seeing the barista clearly annoyed at the interruption.

"I want a rasp_berry_ slushy," Santana said, accentuating the last part of 'raspberry'. The barista huffed and went to the machine that was next to the cash register. Santana had wanted coffee, but the berry joke was too good to let it pass. The cheerio's smile widened while looking attentively how the girl prepared her order. She wouldn't risk any kind of 'revenge' from the girl. She thought about it, because if she was in the barista's position, she would spit in the client's drink or something, which is why Mr. Vega, almost like a psychic, had decided that she was best suited for the cashier position. She paid and got her change, obviously she didn't tip, and walked to sit in front of Rachel.

"Slushy?" Rachel asked looking at Santana's order.

"Yeah, I like it when it is not being thrown at my face," Rachel rolled her eyes and Santana smiled. "Are you drinking coffee?" and Santana was about to add that she shouldn't, because of the temperature and how acid it is, but then she stopped herself. She wouldn't join the 'let's smother poor sick Rachel' club, if the girl wanted to drink coffee she could.

"Lukewarm tea," Rachel said shrugging. They were silent for a while, Santana couldn't say how long, but it was long enough for Rachel to take three sips.

"I'm sorry," Santana said, and Rachel raised her eyes to look at her.

"Is this the part when you tell me that you are sorry for bullying me all these years, and that the reason for the bullying was because you were jealous, or because you didn't know better." Rachel said almost without breathing and Santana raised one eyebrow, she was about to interrupt when Rachel continued, "Oh wait! Even better, you truly wanted to be my friend but I was not popular, or is this when you tell me that my nose is really not that big? Because I've already heard those, Santana," Rachel said, looking tired. "I've heard them all."

Santana looked at Rachel with an incredulous expression. "Did they really say those things?" Rachel nodded with a sardonic smile. "Ay Dios mío!" Santana said laughing and Rachel joined her, which just made the bitchy barista look at her with deep-seated hatred.

"Yep, they did." Rachel sipped her tea again and Santana kept smiling.

"No, Rachel. I'm not going to say those things," that caught Rachel's attention. "This is the part when I tell you that I bullied you, because I truly thought you were annoying, I still think that your nose is big, and I say don't take it personally. Because as you well know I'm not only a bitch to you, but I'm a bitch to everybody."

"Really?" Rachel looked at her.

"Look, Berry. I'm sorry for the joke yesterday," Rachel huffed, "It's almost like… A common joke. It's not the first time I make it and it definitely won't be the last. It's the same freaking joke I say to Fabray whenever she decides to be a bitch and she practically demands VIP treatment when she goes to the grocery store. So let me repeat… Don't take it personally."

Rachel looked surprised, "So it wasn't about…"

"About the rest of the club being incredibly annoying, insensitive, and smothering cynical idiots? No, it wasn't about that," Santana smirked and Rachel laughed.

"So you see it, too. Don't you?" It wasn't a question, it was, at this point, common knowledge.

"It's pretty obvious, and your response to their new attitude screams 'leave me the hell alone'. I don't know why they keep doing it."

"I don't know," Rachel said shaking her head, "I've spoken to Finn and he just can't see it. At least my parents understood my point." Santana drunk some slushy trying not to look too much at Rachel. She knew what was coming and she knew that she wasn't very good with feelings.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Rachel asked smirking and Santana smiled.

"We've never been friends, yet somehow you've decided to trust me?" Santana tried to somehow change the subject by expressing her concern.

"I could have the same question, you know? You could be just talking to me because you want to know how to hurt me, or use whatever I say to your advantage, or you could just go around saying how ungrateful I am, or…"

"Touché," Santana said interrupting her because despite of the little ache that Rachel's distrust made her feel, she had to admit that, considering their history, the girl's worries were understandable.

Both girls didn't say a word and the silence between them was prolonged while they thought about their situation, but Rachel decided to take the decision for both of them.

"I feel being left behind," Santana raised an eyebrow, almost encouraging Rachel to continue. "Do you know how they have always insisted on how selfish I am, and how everything is about me?" Santana nodded. "Well, I feel that they have always been wrong. I mean… Yes, I've made some pretty selfish things, but so has every single member of New Directions, even Mister Schuester."

"I hate that he uses us as a device to solve his problems with Bambi eyes," Santana interrupted.

"Exactly." Rachel said, and sipped her tea like truly thinking what she would say next. "Now that for once I truly _need_ things to be about me, they make it about them," Santana looked at her and nodded.

"They feel bad for you, but instead of trying to do what you truly need to feel ok, they do what they need so they don't feel guilty about the past. It's pretty… Fucked up." Santana said and then drunk some slushy.

"And I know that they have good intentions, and that makes everything even worse, because I feel guilty for being mad at them." Santana smiled and shook her head.

"Rachel, the truth is… We've all been awful to all the members of the glee club at some point, which is why I always laugh when they insist on saying that we are family, because in a very dysfunctional way, we are. We know our strengths and weaknesses and when we need it, we use them to get our ways." Santana shrugged and Rachel laughed.

"It's true, a very dysfunctional family."

"That's why sadly it took something like this for us all realize what being family truly means," Santana said. "I mean, it's awful that it had to take knowing about you having cancer for us all to see that maybe the same reasons why we disliked each other are the same reasons why we actually are a group, you know?"

"I've always appreciated your talents, Santana. I just…" She hesitated, "the solos were important to me, because they could open doors, there could be someone important in the audience who was looking for performers. And let's be honest, not all the glee club is looking for the same things."

Santana looked intently at her, she looked kind of lost and it was awkward. Because out of all of them, the only one who always had been vocal about her plans, about the future, had been Rachel, and now she had lost everything.

Rachel raised her eyes and Santana could feel how she needed to talk about this, with anyone, and she had to admit that the circumstances allowed her to be there, so she just nodded and Rachel continued. "I wanted to be on Broadway, and the solos were my way to be prepared, my way to feel like I deserved it. It is highly ironic that now that I've lost those dreams all that's left are people that disliked me for wanting those dreams in the first place." Santana shook her head.

"We disliked you because you are annoying, Rachel," and both smiled, relieved that that comment had lightened the mood.

"I don't want to sound ungrateful," Rachel said and Santana rolled her eyes, "It's good seeing how they worry about me, and want to help me. A part of me is thankful to see it and a part of me hates it, because they realized they care about me when there is a chance that I might die, and I hate them for it. Does that make me an awful person?" Rachel looked at Santana, with bright sad eyes.

Santana shook her head. "No, Rachel. It just makes you human." She said sincerely, and she could see a tear running down Rachel's cheek. For a moment she was tempted to dry Berry's tears, but that would be too much; not only to Rachel, but to Santana herself. Both looked through the window, trying to organize their ideas.

"And now not only the glee club looks at me weird and treats me differently, there's also the issue of the rest of the school knowing."

"Fucking Jewfro," Santana mumbled and Rachel nodded. "Look at the bright side, at least they stopped the slushy attacks," Santana added, trying to enlighten the mood.

"Yeah, but they only did it because they pity me. I never thought I'd say this, but… I wish someone would throw a slushy at me, that way I could feel like myself for a change." She said s,oñomg sadñy while looking at her tea.

"Don't tempt me, Berry. Don't tempt me." Santana said, raising her slushy and smirking.

They both smiled honestly.

* * *

**I hope you let me know what you think :)**


	7. Chapter 7: Bumper cars and ice cream

I'm back! And this is chapter 7.

I hope you enjoy it!

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**Chapter 7: Bumper cars and ice cream**

Santana crossed her arms and looked at the ceiling, she had forgotten her iPod and she felt awkward talking to Rachel's dad, who was sitting across the hall. He looked nice enough, but she didn't like to interact with people more than needed, so she just shut up and stayed there trying to feel invisible, moving her feet at the beat of a silent song that only she knew, trying not to think of how much she hated hospitals. Her boredom was interrupted when suddenly a doctor appeared at the end of the hallway and Leroy stood up.

"Mr. Berry," the doctor said with a smile, "She's already in her room, she already had radiotherapy and now she's receiving chemotherapy, so these hours will be complicated. She'll probably react badly to the treatments, it's completely normal and it's why we'll keep her here for a couple of days, if her reaction is worse than expected, then she would have to stay longer. But she'll be okay." He said, Santana knew that this was the kind of speech a doctor gave without even thinking, always the same reassuring words, always the same nice smile, always trying to calm people.

"Okay, what should I do, I mean how can I help?" Leroy asked nervously.

"You just have to support her and take care of her, also try to give her whatever she needs, if she wants to drink something or needs more pillows. Basically all you have to do is being a father," the doctor said smiling.

"What about her diet?" Santana asked, the doctor looked intently at her, and Leroy nodded, like giving him permission to answer.

"I have already spoken with Rachel, she needs to leave her veganism behind," he explained and Leroy's eyes widened, "she is having problems accepting it, and I know that there are cases when it is not needed, but Rachel is weak right now, and the treatments are hard. So it is necessary that she understands that she has to be, at least, vegetarian, there's no other way. In the meantime we've giving her some complements so her body can adapt slowly, and she should start drinking milk and slowly add eggs, and white meat, if she accepts it. I'd recommend that she avoids red meat, she needs to balance her diet so she can face the treatments better." Leroy and Santana nodded.

"Thanks for everything, doctor." Leroy said shaking his hand.

"You are welcome," the doctor said smiling and then leaving.

Santana and Leroy just stood there.

"Where's the rest of the guys? Where's Finn?" He asked suddenly.

"They had Spanish and couldn't come, because Figgins finally decided to do his job and Schuester's teaching techniques are under evaluation," Santana said rolling her eyes.

"So you don't take Spanish," Leroy looked at her interested.

"Spanish is my first language, I've always lived in a house where we speak Spanish, we also speak English, but whenever we have family time… Spanish it is." Santana explained, while shrugging.

"Dora, the explorer style?" Leroy asked smiling.

"That's racist," Santana said seriously. Leroy suddenly looked terrified until Santana smiled. "Relax, you are not the first, you won't be the last," she rolled her eyes.

"Thanks goodness gracious," he said almost whispering, which made Santana laugh.

"I have to go, I have some things to buy, I'll come as soon as I can," Santana said checking her cellphone.

"You are not going to see her now?" Leroy asked a little bit surprised.

"Look, she probably feels and look like sh…shuper bad," Santana said trying not to swear, which made Leroy smile. "Believe me, she won't want me or anyone else looking at her like that. Try to help her feel a little bit better and probably she'll want someone to comb her hair and all those things and believe me, you won't want me pulling her hair and making her cry," Santana added, "I'll be back in half an hour."

"Ok, I'll let her know, and… Thanks for coming." Leroy said.

"Well, I knew that the other Berry couldn't make it because of the travel time from Cincinatti and the group of losers all have Spanish because Schuester is willing to give them extra credit for breathing, so…" Santana said.

"Thanks anyway," Leroy said with a gentle smile.

"Okay, bye… See you later," She said taking her backpack and starting to walk towards the exit.

* * *

"Hospitals beds are awful," was the first thing Rachel said as soon as she saw her father, who just shook his head.

"How are you feeling?" He asked with a smile.

"I've thrown up twice," both winced, "According to the doctor the reaction is absolutely normal and it is produced because my body rejects the external agents. It may also be that hideous complement that they are making me take in order to leave veganism," Rachel said frowning.

"So you are actually going vegetarian?" her dad asked smiling.

"The doctor said that I could still be vegan and take some other medicines that would reinforce my immune system, but that's more money and actually they could even be contraindicated with some of the cancer treatments, so yeah… I'll go vegetarian," Rachel explained.

"I'm sorry honey, I know how much it means to you," he said. "We can still just buy stuff that is not produced by industries and opt for organic food, you know?" he smiled.

"Thanks, daddy."

She looked tired, worse than he's ever seen her and that broke his heart.

"Your dad called, asking how you were doing" he said, sitting next to her and remembering what Santana said, he took the hair brush that was in a makeup bag and started to comb her hair carefully, which made her smile.

"What did he say?" she asked taking the book that she had left while her father kept combing her hair.

"The business meeting went longer than expected and he'll be here in an hour," he sighed. "Also… Santana said she'd be back in half an hour."

Rachel turned around, "Santana?"

"Yes, she's been here since you entered the radiotherapy room and until you were moved to the room and started chemotherapy."

"Really?" Rachel's voice was suddenly weak. Leroy nodded and Rachel couldn't say anything else, she was surprised.

"Yep," he said pulling her hair softly and trying to put her hair up in a bun. "She also told me that the rest wanted to come, but couldn't because they had Spanish," he added trying to get all the rebel locks of hair so the bun would look good.

"I assumed they wouldn't come. Principal Figgins has decided to make an evaluation to all teachers and he decided that Sue Sylvester was the only one qualified to be the academic supervisor, so obviously Mr. Schuester is now extremely worried of his classes," she said taking a magazine from the bunch her father had brought, and started to flick through a Cosmo, she snorted at the title on the front page.

"Is he that bad?" He asked finishing and watching the final product.

"Well… I took his Spanish classes and I've learned more on the Internet than in his class, so…" She said suddenly paying attention to one article. Leroy laughed and stood up.

"Would you like me to give you your make up, or something?" he asked walking to his bag. She huffed.

"It's not necessary, daddy," she said turning the page. Leroy looked intently at her, he was worried, he was about to say something when they heard the knock on the door.

"Come in," Rachel said, and something inside Leroy broke when he realized that she wanted to say that out loud, but her voice sounded weak. Rachel looked at him worried and he smiled, trying to give her confidence, and walked to the door. There, in front of him was Santana.

"Hey, is she ok? Can she have visitors?" she asked, he nodded and moved to let her enter the room.

"Hey there, dwarf," Santana said, leaving her back pack on one chair and walking towards Rachel.

"Santana," Rachel answered trying to control her voice.

"Since you have to stop eating like a freaking rabit, I brought you this," she said taking all from the bags and leaving all the stuff forcefully in Rachel's bed. Rachel saw chocolates and ice cream and she looked at Santana, but she looked too focused in opening an Oreos package with her teeth. She was about to thank her, when her dad's phone started to ring.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go pick Hiram at the train station. Rachie, you know he doesn't drive," Rachel nodded and smiled when he kissed her forehead.

"It's ok, dad. I'll be here anyway," she added with a smile.

"I know. See you soon, girls." He said walking towards the exit.

"Bye, Mr. Berry number one," Santana said struggling with the lid of the Ben & Jerry's.

"It's Leroy, Santana." Rachel huffed seeing her taking a spoon.

"Whatever, Rachie" she said mocking the girl who just rolled her eyes. The cheerleader took the bag of M&M's and pouring them on top of the ice cream with some crushed oreos. Rachel looked at her with curiosity until she took the pint of ice cream and offered it to Rachel.

"What?" she asked, and Santana rolled her eyes.

"Seriously Berry, you are going to stop eating like a freaking rabit! The first thing in the list is chocolate and ice cream." She said taking the rest of the oreos.

"Do you intend me to be diabetic, too?" Rachel asked taking the pint and the spoon, she tasted it and she moaned quietly, it was so much better than what she remembered.

"Fucking good, isn't it?" Santana asked smiling, and Rachel nodded while having another spoon.

Rachel looked intently at the girl in front of her. She simply couldn't believe it. Here was Santana López, the same girl that had thrown a couple of slushies at her, suddenly talking about how she'll bring some homemade pie made by her mom next time, and how Rachel should just stop being a 'whiny bitch' and go to BreadstiX as soon as she's out of the hospital to have some spaghetti and meatballs.

Rachel listened intently, because it was hard to conceive the fact that the same grumpy cheerleader that went to Glee Club every week was here, the same kid that used to annoy her when she went to the amusement park. It was just so different, and Rachel knew that it was because they were different. She remembered her seven-year-old self going to the bumper cars with her daddies and trying to avoid the rest of the kids just to enjoy the ride, while Santana was the kind of kid that simply enjoyed bumping against everything and make people mad.

She just can't conceive that the same person having chocolates and talking about food and other topics is the same vicious kid that would bump against her over, and over, and over again just to annoy her. And she smiled at the memory.

Because she knew that this was the real Santana, and it felt good.

* * *

That's all, folks. Let me know what you think :D


	8. Chapter 8: The end is the beginning

Two chapters in a week, that's new!

This is chapter 8, I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

**Chapter 8: The end is the beginning**

Rachel was tired, and bored, and she felt overwhelmed. She had been released from the hospital, and now she was supposed to go on with her normal life until the next treatment. She has to rest for a week and then go back for another radio and chemotherapy.

Santana had been kind enough to prepare her for coming back home, and by 'kind enough' Rachel meant 'direct enough' to tell her "The bunch of assholes are going to be at your house when you go back, so get ready for the tear fest or the laugh fest or whatever it is they have agreed on".

She had to admit that she had felt equally relieved and disappointed that the other girl hadn't gone to her house. Relieved, because as far as she could see during the visit hours at the hospital, Santana was being her normal self towards New Directions and they weren't being very nice to her in exchange. And disappointed, because during the last weeks Santana was the only one that apparently understood her, and she made the effort to talk about something that wasn't her health, hospitals, and treatments; she could have used the break from all that at home, too.

Rachel moved her head and started to look at the ceiling, the old gold stars decorating her room, different pictures, some of New Directions, some other of her dancing and singing lessons, others with her fathers and even a couple of her when she was a baby. She looked intently towards one of the yearbook photos and it wasn't until now, a couple of years later that she truly looked at it. Everybody was smiling, and her hands were intertwined with Santana's. She tried to remember the moment, but couldn't remember the context or why they were so close, but she smiled. She was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Rachel, I'm going. My mom was expecting me for dinner, and she's gonna be pissed," Finn said entering her room, holding his jacket and with a smile on his face.

"Ok," she answered without adding anything else.

"What? What happens? Are you feeling bad?" He asked sitting next to her on her bed. Rachel could see that he was worried and that he probably even wanted to touch her in order to check if she had a fever.

"This isn't working," she said with a weak voice, and once again she wanted to scream because of how frustrating it was, because of how difficult this was going to be.

"What isn't working? Is it the treatments? Do you want me to take you to the hospital, because I can…" Rachel didn't let him finish; she shook her head and took his hand, gripping it tightly.

"Us," she whispered and looked at him.

"Rachel, I…" he tried to interrupt.

"I heard you," he said looking intently at him, "I heard that conversation with Noah, when you told him that you love me, but are not in love with me anymore. And I get it, Finn, I truly do. I just don't want you to feel pressured to stay with me, just because I'm sick. We can still be friends, and I'll always care about you, and I know you still care about me, but I… I can't do this anymore," she said. She had to admit that she felt relieved, she had unshed tears in her eyes. She was letting her first love go, after all.

"Rachel, I…" Finn looked surprised and he started to shake his head. Rachel could see that he seemed affected, so she just started to caress his hand. He sighed and looked at her, "I love you, I do, and your illness made me realize how important you are to me," Rachel started to shake her head, and he added "But we don't work anymore." He just started to look at their intertwined hands and started to play with Rachel's fingers.

"I know," she simply stated removing her hand.

"You are so important to me, Rach," he sighed, "but I can't follow you to New York, there's nothing there for me."

"Finn, you can still work there, or study there, you can take a sabbatical, I know you are capable, you can look for some short courses, or…"

"It doesn't matter anymore, does it?" He asked with a sad smile. "I realized that we weren't working when Puck proposed we went to California and start the pool cleaning business there and I truly considered it," he said, "I wanted to drag you there and let you leave your dreams behind, just to make mine come true, and that's selfish, Rach… So freaking selfish," he said moving his head, then he looked at her intently. "We would have resented each other at the end, Rach. If we moved to Cali, you would have resented me because of your missed opportunities, and if we moved to New York, I would have resented you because I wouldn't fit in that lifestyle."

"Are we going to be ok?" Rachel asked, a little bit afraid of the answer.

"Eventually we will," he answered caressing her face. "I'm going to be with you, by your side, until you decide that you are just tired of me," he said smiling timidly.

"Thanks," she said laughing lightly. "I'm gonna give you a hug, now," she said before moving to hug him, he laughed and hugged her back tightly, and before standing up, he kissed her forehead.

"I can still give you a ride to school tomorrow, right?" He asked.

"Of course, I'll be waiting." She said with a smile.

"Bye, Rach," he said taking his jacket again.

"Good bye, Finn."

She lay down and could hear the sound of the door being closed, she breathed and opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling again. She couldn't lie, she felt heartbroken. For a long time she thought that her relationship with Finn was destined to be everything she had ever dreamed of, but she knew better. Yes, Finn was a good guy, usually he made mistakes, but so did she. But they always seemed to expect something more from each other, and despite that there were times when that was good, they were capable of being so hurtful, too. And the moment both realized that their dreams would led them to different to places and both were even thinking of making the other unhappy it was clear that it wouldn't work.

It was ironic, that they were breaking up because of their future plans, since now Rachel had none. She didn't even was sure that she had a future, so she closed her eyes and tried to contain her tears, but couldn't. She cried for all that would never be, her plans, her dreams, Finn and Broadway.

She tried to stop crying and to ignore the lump in her throat. She moved to drink some water, it always helped her when she felt this sad, but she winced at the pain; she left the glass in her night table and before she could turn off the lights her cell phone announced a new text message.

_"You, me, choir room, lunch hour, chocolate cupcakes - Satan_".

She laughed after seeing the signature, and decided to answer.

_"Ok, good night… Satan – Rachel."_

She turned off the lights not expecting and answer, but she was wrong.

_"You bring something to drink. If it's alcohol, even better." _

Rachel rolled her eyes and was about to answer when a new message arrived.

_"Good night, pequeña Rachie… HAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

Rachel laughed and decided to answer.

_"If you think I'm going to bring any alcohol beverage you are so wrong, Santana López."_ She pressed 'send' and then she added: _"You are never letting the 'Rachie' thing go, are you?"_

_"No way in hell!" _was Santana's answer.

_"Good night, Santana."_ Rachel sent while yawning.

_"Buenas noches, Berry."_ Rachel smiled. After all, some things never change.

* * *

**That's it, people. I hope you like it and let me know your opinion about this. Also, since English is not my native language, I'd truly appreciate if anything sounds funny to you, or you detect any mistake, just let me know to fix it.**

**Thanks in advance,**

**Cammiel.**


	9. Chapter 9: Never again

New chapter here! :D

* * *

**Chapter 9: Never again**

"You what?" Santana raised an eyebrow looking intently at Rachel.

"We broke up," Rachel shrugged taking two juice bottles from her back pack.

"When? Why? Did he dump you? Because if he did I'm so going to go Lima Heights on his ass that he won't even…" Santana said attempting to stand up, but Rachel's hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Santana!" Rachel said moving her hand and gripping her arm in an attempt to keep her in place. "_We_ broke up, as in 'both of us decided that it wasn't working'". She explained while organizing the food that Santana had brought, despite of not feeling hungry.

"But why? I mean, we all thought you were going to be the perfect example of high school sweethearts that get married and show their kids pics in the high school reunions. All the glee club in a table pretending that all is the same, when the guys are getting bald, and the we are getting fat; and we all pretend to care about each other's lives and we lie about the kids saying that they are all cute and shit". Santana said opening her pineapple juice bottle.

"You were wrong," Rachel shrugged, "Things weren't working and I wouldn't let him stay just because I'm sick," she sighed and looked at the ceiling.

"Is this some kind of martyr sacrifice thing, so he doesn't suffer because you are sick, and you letting him free and all that crap?" Santana asked her, and Rachel rolled her eyes and huffed.

"It wasn't working. He was planning on breaking up with me before the diagnosis, and things just weren't the same," Rachel shrugged, "besides I don't even know if I have a future, so…" she said practically munching in a cupcake. She wasn't hungry, but Santana had brought chocolate cupcakes.

"Berry…" Santana said frowning. She disliked when Rachel said this kind of stuff, especially considering that she still wasn't feeling that bad. Yes, she had told her about the queasiness, the hurt when she swallowed anything, and the permanent tiredness, but hear her say this kind of thing was the equivalent to Rachel giving up, and it was so weird to see Rachel giving up on something, anything; that she just couldn't help feeling that the illness was already changing her.

"Be realistic Santana, this treatments are just so things don't get worse. It's ironic how this treatments are supposed to prolong your life span, but they just make you feel like crap," Rachel said with a broken voice and Santana didn't know if she was more surprised at Rachel saying the word 'crap' or at the defeat that was clear in her voice.

"Berry, it just the treatment. You won't feel this way once they tell you that the tumors shrunk and they can operate and you can live for many years bothering people with your long rants, singing Broadway tunes, and with your better-than-thou attitude," Santana said, but there was something inside her telling her that it was wrong to give hope to someone whose possibilities weren't really good. Santana closed her eyes, trying to forget what she had heard at Rachel's house. She was looking for a glass so she could bring Rachel some water and she ended up hearing a conversation that was clearly private. She would never forget the despair in the Berry fathers' voices while they were discussing Rachel's options and the unfavorable odds.

Rachel looked at Santana and saw her moving uncomfortably. She sighed and could feel that lump in her throat, the one that had nothing to do with tumors, cancer and illness, but the one that she knew well and that was simply the signal announcing that she would cry. Inevitably and probably non-stop.

She tried to swallow, and she closed her eyes to prevent the tears from falling. She grimaced at how bad it all felt, not only the uncontrollable desire to cry, but also the constant pain when swallowing. She opened her eyes and saw that Santana was looking at her. She looked circumspect, serious, but at the same time afraid. Rachel realized that she was making her uncomfortable.

Santana, almost feeling Rachel reaching the wrong conclusion took the bottle of pineapple juice and offered it to her, moving so she was next to the other girl, not face to face.

Rachel just sat there, trying to control her breathing, swallowing not only the juice, but also her tears. "I'll never sing again," she explained looking at the bottle in her hands, "even if I survive, I'll never sing again," she sighed, "ever," she added, almost like trying to convince herself.

Santana tensed up, and moved her head quickly to look at Rachel.

Through high school there were many things Santana had been sure. She had been sure that the cheerios were her opportunity to go to college saving her parents some money, cheerleading was also her chance at popularity, she was sure that she would leave Lima, she was sure that the glee club would at least place at nationals, and she was sure that Mr. Schuester eventually would realize he sucked at Spanish. But the one thing she was absolutely certain, the one thing she could have bet everything she had, was Rachel's voice.

Because through lies, pregnancies, fights for solos, friendships, musicals, pop covers and rivalries, the only constant was that tiny little girl singing her heart out, saving their asses during competitions and bringing them all together.

And this time it was Santana who choked, and couldn't help crying for all that the girl in front of her was losing.

Rachel started crying, finally letting go. She cried because she felt she could, because somehow, doing it at her house where her fathers could listen, felt wrong.

And the only thing Santana did was moving her hand so she could take Rachel's. And for that moment, that was all the consolation they needed.

* * *

As soon as Rachel left her keys in the place destined for that next to the door, she saw her fathers' expectant expression.

"It was okay, I only threw up twice, and I'm late because I stayed for glee club," she said looking tired and walking directly towards the stairs so she could go to her room.

"Honey, you know you can't make too much effort, it might…" Hiram started, but was interrupted by Rachel suddenly turning around.

"I didn't sing, ok?! I didn't! I can't anymore, remember? I just helped Mercedes, Kurt, Artie, Santana, Blaine and Tina by teaching them some techniques and giving them some instructions. They are going to be the ones carrying all the weight now. Are you happy?" He almost screamed the last question while running to her room, leaving her fathers at the bottom of the stairs looking up worriedly.

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**That's all for this week, people. I hope you liked it and let me know your opinion about this. If you have suggestions about how I can improve or even something you would like to read regarding this story, just let me know! :D**


	10. Chapter 10: ¿Y ahora qué?

New chapter here! :D

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**Chapter 10: ¿Y ahora qué?**

Santana moved so she could rest on the back of the chair and crossed her legs, her iced non-fat latte on one hand and a smirk on her face. "¿Y ahora qué? What comes next? You refuse treatment, join a gang, get a tattoo and pierce your nipples?" she asked, and Rachel rolled her eyes and moved her arms so she could cover her breasts. Santana laughed out loud at the other girl's reaction.

"I'm a very patient person, Santana," the other brunette huffed, "but they have to understand that I just want to be as normal as I can be."

"You've never been normal, Rachel. Get over it." Santana said, "Have you tried to tell them all you've told me? I mean, despite of their obsession with musicals and their weird as fuck tendency to have paintings of you, your dads are pretty cool. They'll understand."

"I did, like five minutes after my outburst, but it was out of regret. I mean, I know that they love me and they care, but they also need to know that they are smothering me, and while I truly enjoyed attention, I just simply don't anymore." She said drinking some slushy.

Santana nodded and saw how Rachel started to look out of the window. She looked at her steaming coffee and realized that she liked this, this new routine: be done with school, go their own ways and then meet on Santana's break from job to drink something in the café next to the grocery store. The only disadvantage about it was the annoying red-haired barista, with her puppy hopeful eyes expecting Rachel to give her the time of day. Santana had to admit that she felt a weird sense of satisfaction whenever Rachel laughed at something she had said and the barista looked at her with hate. She couldn't help smirking and thinking _Take that, bitch!_

"How is this friendship with Finn going?" Santana asked, trying not to dwell too much on her despise for the red haired bimbo.

"Good, apparently we are better friends than we were a couple. Not that I am that surprised, to be honest." Rachel said smiling.

"Well, today everybody was talking about the break up and how you erased all of his photos and unfriended him on facebook." Santana said rolling her eyes while drinking from her cup.

"What? I haven't unfriended him! Besides, this is ridiculous. Being in contact with someone on facebook doesn't mean you are their _friend_."

"I know, it's a concept hard to understand. I unfriended Kurt when he started to talk too much about his relationship. Blaine this, Blaine that, Blaine is an awesome singer, Blaine is awesome at everything, Blaine is awesome in bed…"

"Santana!" Rachel scolded her.

"C'mon. You _have_ to be tired of it, too. I mean… I get that he's super happy because he has a boyfriend, but I was dreading the moment when he would start to talk about Blaine's dick. Because that's where his obsession was headed." Santana said scrunching her nose.

Rachel started to laugh. "Wait… are you trying to tell me that Kurt is your _friend_?" she said raising an eyebrow.

"Nah. I just seem to tolerate him more than the rest of the club since I've been spending more time with him lately." Rachel smiled, ever since they had started this friendship and started to spend time together, Santana had been forced to spend more time with Kurt too, which felt good, because whether they liked it or not they are a lot alike.

"I know," she said with a knowing look, and Santana huffed.

"Back to facebook… You did delete photos, though." She said moving her eyebrows.

"Of course I did, I didn't want it to be uncomfortable. But I just deleted those in which it was clear we were a couple. The ones of glee club, or the ones where we are doing activities that are common in a friendship are still there." Rachel shrugged.

"I guess it was kinda hard, huh. Letting go and all that crap." Santana said seeing the barista approaching with a plate of cookies.

"Not really, we are still friends and it's ok. Just… Next time I am in a relationship, please remind me to upload all of our couply photos to only _one_ facebook album. Since deleting all the romantic photos of Finn has proved to be hard, because there are so many," Rachel said smiling.

Santana looked at her intently… It was bittersweet, it was good to see that Rachel was somehow speaking about the future, and it was cool that she was so sure they would still be friends by that moment. But, the idea of Rachel in a relationship was weird, almost unsettling. Her thoughts were interrupted by the barista.

"Hi, Rachel." She smiled exclusively to the smaller brunette, almost making a statement: she didn't like Santana. The cheerio rolled her eyes at how obvious this chick could be.

"Hello Monica, how are you?" Rachel answered politely, looking at Santana and smiling slightly at her attitude.

"Good, good. I brought you cookies. They are on the house." The red haired girl said leaving the plate on the table.

"Thanks," Rachel said, but before she could take one Santana was already munching one.

"They are dry, but good. Drink some slushy before you eat them, Tiny." Rachel raised an eyebrow after hearing the new nickname.

"Okay…" Rachel said, not sure of how to act. "Thanks for the gesture, Monica." She looked at the girl and smiled.

"I was wondering if you have thought about that lunch at Breadstix," the girl asked shyly, looking at the floor.

"I haven't really. I've been pretty busy." Rachel told her.

"How about tomorrow?" The barista suggested suddenly looking really extrovert. "We can go, have lunch and talk about the book, or we can…"

"We have glee rehearsal tomorrow," Santana interrupted almost growling.

"Oh! And what about Friday, we can go Friday." The girl insisted.

"Tiny, you told me we would go shopping." Santana looked at her.

Rachel turned with a puzzled look. "Yes, but that's late in the afternoon."

"My mom told me to invite you for lunch, I forgot to tell you." Santana said quickly, she damned her stupid impulses. _So what if Rachel wanted to go out with this… bitch. It's her decision._ Now she'll have to make sure her mom was at home and cooked lunch for them.

"Oh! Sorry Monica, apparently I have a very busy schedule," _Of which I had no idea before_, Rachel mentally added.

"And… Saturday?" the girl asked for the last time.

"Maybe… " Rachel said, and looked at the hurt expression of Santana. "I'll let you know." She smiled at Monica, and Santana stood up abruptly.

"I gotta go," _at least this time I didn't say gay_, Santana thought.

"What? Why? Your turn starts in…" Rachel looked at her watch, "twenty minutes."

"I have to buy some stuff for Saturday," Santana answered, "Bye, Berry."

Rachel looked at her surprised, it felt weird Santana calling her "Berry" in that tone. And then she realized… Saturday was Santana's birthday. _Fuck._

* * *

**I hope that you liked this chapter, and if you have any comment or suggestion just let me know through a review.**

**That's all, folks!**


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